On faceBook sometimes I find these jewels, these shiny bits of brilliance, I canât stop watching more and more.
I added a text of Amir Peter O’Loughlin on this one
And then youTube, also a cursed media đ, but also there we find beacons.
Posted by abrahim
There is this tension between the temporally and the infinite that keeps on haunting me. There is no way for the mind to comprehend this predicament. It is not like that there is a soul that is timeless with access to unlimited space, connected with everything and an ego that is mortal, restricted within its possibilities as a separate unit.
It is all one, present in the same container.
Like the wish and the realization, the idea and the result are part of the same container. The path and the goal, the station and the journeyâŠ
For me being creative is the best way to live a spiritual Life in a material World. Starting with the longing, the wish, the idea, the plan, the steps, being open for the unexpected, dealing with the limitations and knowing that it is a process where I may be part of. The small step is directly connected with the whole of the creation. It humbles, fulfills, connects the limited ego to the endless universe of possibilities.
It only works when I can hold these two entities both in my hands. When I can see what the board and the nails can become and at the same time be 100% with the hamer and the nail in this moment where nothing is accomplished and yet everything is complete.
What is the use of everything? For whom am I writing this blog? I have ZERO followers. My lover is so different then me. Sometimes it feels like living in different Universes.
I want to be seen. I NEED to be seen. And I donât know how to ask for what I need. I just try to get it, no matter what. I am desperate. I shout out of helplessness, if not becoming a very grumpy en dangerous man.
Actually I donât understand the term âNegative mergingâ. This also makes me angry. But I have learned that it is called this way.Another time maybe I can really write something about NM. I just want LOVE and specially from my lover!
Jardim de Luz is garden and a large and a small guesthouse, situated in the old fisherman’s village PĂȘra at the algarve, Portugal. Actually it was the Jardim that got me on the whole idea of this site.
At a certain moment I was walking around in PĂȘra and suddenly saw the guesthouse and garden of my lover with different eyes. I saw how it was situated in the village and how the relation was with the surroundings. The uniqueness struck me and slowly I started to see that there was light coming from the place. And how the beauty that was created by the renovations opened the space for this light. Suddenly I saw it as a beacon and started to wonder if we can see more of them.
That is what I long for to be. It feels like the best way to pay respect to my Being.
Somewhere in the Belly this quality resides, maybe in the Kath, the Hara. It is resting in the palm of my pelvis, grounding me, activating the lower chakras.
From there I feel my heart being supported, my throat ready to speak its truth, my head clear and willing to be of service, and the upper chakras opening.
Like this I can stay curious for what will enfold, happy to be responsive, open to follow the action arisingâŠ
There is this tension between the longing for the familiar and the need to go beyond. We do go beyond anyway, we grow, we discover, there is no development possible without being open for the unknown.
Itâs like how the ego always tries to fix that what comes forth out of essence, simply being, trying to control the mystery. But we canât, as soon as you think you have arrived somewhere, something unexpected happens.
I like to travel, the adventure of not knowing what will be around the next corner. And I like to arrive, there where I know where to find the things I need. Where the blankets feel warm and cosy and familiar.
But deep down I know that there is no way to be sure of what comes next, so I practice to be open for the unexpected, for the surprises, the pleasant and the unpleasant ones.
There is this theme âBasic Trustâ that keeps on coming back in my experience and thoughts. When I was studying Art Therapy I learned in the Psychology class that the traditional idea is that when the Basic Trust is not established in the first 3 years of your life, you will lack this for the rest of the time you walk around on this planet. Not a very hopeful and comforting thought.
Later several directions of psycology got interested in spirituality and vice versa. I worked with Path workers inspired by Eva Periakos, got to know the Reichian breathwork and did a course in energy consiousness what in the end lead me to the Sufiâs in The swiss Alps. There I learned that in the light core inside we can also find Basic Trust. Slightly diferent from the Basic Trust from the viewpoint of the personality. Yes, there will always be a lack somehow in the ego structure of a holding quality, but that doesnât mean we cannot live a fulfilling life.
In her book âThe Jeweled Pathâ of Karen Johnson, she clearly states that the ability to manifest our potential is dependant on how stable our upbringing was. Was there at least one parent that saw us for what we brought into life from our core light, and was there a field of holding to grow to become more who we are, it had a huge impact on our adult life.
So the point is, as things are just the way they are, that it doesnât matter, that the most important thing is that we are alighned with our individual inner light, and so are connected with the all pervading light, where the true Basis Trust resides.
My head is programmed to find solutions for almost anything. I am the Savior, that’s the self image of my brain. I am here to save my mother, my partner, my friends, all my loved ones and more. I am here to save the world. And I am convinced that I can!
Somehow that’s very convenient. I feel safe, strong, I’ve got a purpose in life and everybody will love me. And it works for a big deal. Until it doesn’t work…
Until I come to the point that it is clear that I can’t save anybody and especially not my lover. I can help her, be there for her when she needs me, but I can’t save her. I can’t give her the feet and the earth to stand on, I can’t live her life for her, and actually it is not up to me.
That is the point where I fall into this hole, this horror, this devastation. I feel failing, useless, purposeless, alone and lost in space. Total panic.
The point where I could start blaming my girlfriend for the impossible task she has given me. And how unfair it all is. And that she is the cause of my predicament.
And to be aware of this all I can see no way out, I am stuck in terror…
If I am honest with myself I have to admit that there is quite some fear in me, in my heart. Maybe a lack of Basic Trust or the absence of Holding. But I know that, thatâs not something new. I have been working a lot with Fear, in my art, in therapy, in self-conciousness groups. I thought Iâd come over it.
But sheâs back, arousen by a serious health issue, that almost got me killed. But I was not afraid of dying, no, on the contrary, when it became clear to me that I had no control over my condition at all, I was ready to go. And the being ready opened a space of soft warm welcoming light. Dying became something interesting.
Being rescued by some good people and doctors I noticed that being alive actually made me afraid. Yes, afraid to die, but not afraid of death. Maybe afraid of pain, suffering, of having to let go (again), to loose everything that is precious to me.
There is a lot to be afraid of right now. The wars, the changing climate, the growing power in the hands of a few. The polarization of so many issues. I am looking for this Sanctuary, outside and inside. I will have to look for Beacons of Light
I like that phrase; Sanctuary in the Storm. And also I do dislike it.
A sanctuary is what I am longing for, and I know I have to find that inside somewhere. True, we can help ourselves by creating circumstances that give us a feeling of being safe, being taken care for. We can create places that provide us shelter, where love, harmony and beauty can prevail above all the hard head-stuff.
I think the world could be, or should be, that sanctuary and in fact she is. There is fear in me…